By ceasing to conceive of our inner world as a block, the IFS model gives it relief, contours, shapes, colors, faces and movement. It admits a truth that we all perceive without accepting: we are plural, i.e. made up of a very large number of parts. More than sub-personalities, manifestations of a multifaceted ego; more than roles, fictions, emotional states, character traits, parts designate real entities, akin to full-fledged inner persons, profound and complex, capable of relationships.
The aim of this article is to give you an overview of the different categories of parts within us, and their richness.
Exile
A part that is sidelined because it could jeopardize the equilibrium of the system, thanks to the action of other parts, called protectors. We distinguish between different families of exiles: those burdened with suffering, who carry the memory of a trauma, those burdened with a transgenerational memory (who carry a trauma passed down from generation to generation), and those who carry qualities whose expression is forbidden (for example, an overly marked artistic sensibility in a family where only the values of material success count).
Protector
Part of the person who, following a traumatic experience, has taken on a protective role aimed at preventing the person from experiencing suffering. There are two types, depending on how they act: managers, who act in anticipation, and firefighters, who intervene at the slightest warning, retroactively. What they have in common is that they have a positive intention for the system (even if their behavior can prove problematic) and that they are dominated by their fears. The positive intention insists on wanting to protect the person (from external dangers or from their exiles, parts laden with burdens that they keep out of the field of consciousness), but they oppose each other on the strategy to adopt, which is likely to lead them into a conflictual relationship, where one seeks to gain the upper hand over the other. This type of relationship is called polarizationoften experienced as a dilemma.
Manager
Part that plays a protective role. Seeking security and stability, managers try to exert control over the inner system and the environment, the spouse, children, office colleagues... Their aim is to prevent the person from finding themselves in situations where they could experience negative feelings, anguish, most often coming from exiles and their burdens. These inner characters are parts of ourselves that are often socially recognized and valued: Their talents become counter-productive when, dominated by their fears, they fall into excess, and from being vigilant they become distrustful of everything and rigid, and can go so far as to impose their tyrannical rule on the person and those around them.
Firefighter
A part which, like the manager, plays a protective role. Like managers, firefighters aim to create security. If they sense that security is threatened, for example by the emergence of intense emotion or anguish, often linked to the emergence of an exile, they intervene immediately to extinguish the emotional fire that is about to engulf the person, just as firefighters would. Their mode of intervention is most often confused with behaviors that cut us off from situations, such as daydreaming and distraction. They can contribute to the development of addictions (alcohol, tobacco, gambling, compulsive shopping, bulimia) or extreme behaviors such as self-mutilation and, ultimately, suicide.
Self
As the center of the system, it should not be represented as a fixed instance of the person, a conscious super-Ego. Rather, it is a quality of presence to the world and to oneself, a disposition of being that emerges through the elimination of the constraints weighing on it, as the parts agree to become unstuck from the person, leaving it more space for its deployment and authorization to put itself into play. This willingness to be allows people to enter easily into relationship with their inner world, and to pacify it. Self manifests itself to the person as a quality of energy: curiosity, compassion, calm, confidence, creativity, connection, courage, but also presence, a sense of perspective, patience, perseverance. These are the qualities that the IFS therapist is asked to make available to his or her patient in the therapeutic relationship. A person who fully experiences their Self has the capacity to heal the wounded parts of themselves.
The Relational Intelligence® model recognizes the multiplicity of the psyche as represented by the Internal Family Systems model, in particular its categorization into three subtypes alongside the Self. One of the specific features of the Relational Intelligence® model is that it brings into play the therapist's relational Self as well as the therapist's own Self. As a result, in the sessions, the protectors (managers or firefighters) quickly find a safe space where they can relax and find satisfaction for their needs. Their characteristic manifestations as such are therefore less noticeable. Working with pychic defenses remains a primordial dimension of Relational Intelligence® work.
Reference : Le Doze, François, and Christian Krumb. The power of trust: a therapy for unification. Paris: © O. Jacob, 2015.